Boundaries, margin, and other ways of finding space
plus weekly actions for the week of January 14, 2024
If there’s one thing I am greedy for it’s information. You’ve got a book club about a topic I’m interested in? Sign me up! An e-course or in-person workshop about a craft I love? Yes please! A daily Instagram challenge? I’m in!
I just want to learn and try everything! I love that I’m a curious, creative person!
BUT
Back in October the training for ClubMakse was on boundaries. I don’t have a lot of issues with boundaries with other people (for better or worse, people do not ask me to do things, and therefore I don’t have to consider whether or not I should say yes or no). But it was an “aha!” moment in realizing that I DO have a lot of boundary issues with myself.
What that looks like: taking on more “fun little projects” than I can reasonably complete even if I had no other responsibilities in my life; not making time for the habits that keep my life running smoothly (ie, a weekly planning session); not prioritizing self-care activities (if I know that journaling helps me feel better, why am I not building time into my daily routine to make it happen?); jamming my schedule full of things that are not completely necessary (but sure sound fun!) and then not having time/ energy/ bandwidth to deal with the extra stuff that crops up.
The boundaries training helped me land on my Word of the Year for 2024: margin.
By having boundaries with myself, by not overcommitting, I am creating margin and space in my life. I need this buffer so that when things crop up (sick kid, urgent home repair, other unexpected events), it doesn’t derail my entire life.
I’ve felt often over the last few years that I was constantly reacting to events. It didn’t feel good! Of course, it’s not possible to anticipate every little thing that crops up, but I can be more proactive in my own life by leaving space and planning my weeks in a way that allows me to anticipate potential stumbling blocks (or at least shift things around easily).
(Also, as a writer I like the double meaning: to have margins in my life means I am getting words down.)
So far having “margin” as a touchstone has been so helpful. It’s stopped me from committing to things I don’t have time for (even if it’s not a true commitment, in that it HAS to get done, if I join something it will take up space in my calendar/ brain). It’s helped me identify where my focus is at this point. I do enjoy a good membership community but I can’t keep up with or afford all of them!
Usually, my WOTY are little more whimsical (like “play” or “light” or “joy”) but having a more concrete word has probably made a bigger difference so far than all the other words combined (also we’re only a few weeks in so this could change!).
Did you pick a word for the year? I’d love to know how it’s going for you!
(This is also the first year in a long time that I did not sign up for Ali Edward’s One Little Word workshop. It’s a good class! But I never do the prompts! And usually stop checking in to the class after four months. Creating more margin by saying no!)
Weekly Actions
Personal
finish vision board
daily planning + reflections
next week action items
read to page 127 East of Eden
read Walt Whitman “Song of Myself”
Hardcore Lit poetry appreciation
Fun + Recreation
plan hike
bake cake
mail passport renewal
Work + Learning
The Workbooks: weekly actions, micro memoir, film video
Outline your memoir webinar replay
Substack Notes workshop replay with
Family + Relationships
Mom’s birthday lunch
floortime training
date night
AAR with oldest
Daily poetry with the baby
Differently Wired coaching call
Health + Wellness
acupuncture
chapter 2 Loving Parent Guidebook
7 fit4mom classes
Spiritual + Personal Growth
Read The Daily Stoic
ClubMakse: write personal mission statement, Q+A call
Daily gratitude list and journaling
Chani weekly horoscope
Financial
wash and list Tripp Trapp set
Physical Environment
meal + snack prep
home care task list
car research
Have a great week! We started the week here in Austin with some very wintery weather and I need the temps to get back to the 40s at least, asap!
I appreciated this reminder about why allowing for “margins” in our life can make life better. Thank you for the inspiration.